Confessions of a Cleaner

Confessions of a Cleaner: The Weirdest Things We’ve Found in Homes

Let me tell you something—after 8 years of professional cleaning, I thought I’d seen it all. Then I found a live turtle in a client’s shower. Not a toy. A full-on, shelled reptile just… hanging out by the drain. That’s when I realized: no two homes are alike, and people’s definition of “normal” is wildly flexible.

At Squeaky Home Clean, we don’t judge—we just clean. But oh boy, do we have stories. Here’s a peek behind the mop bucket at the [weirdest things found in homes] that still haunt our team group chat.

1. “Wait… Why Is That There?” Finds

The stuff that makes you pause mid-scrub and text your coworkers like “Y’all gotta see this.”

Top 3 Head-Scratchers:

  1. A framed photo of a potato (not a person holding a potato—just a solo spud in an 8×10 frame)

  2. 17 identical snow globes (all broken, carefully arranged in a bathtub)

  3. A “snack drawer” full of ketchup packets (like, hundreds. For “emergencies.”)

Now, here’s where it gets weird…

The Toaster Incident

One client swore her toaster was “acting possessed.” Turns out she’d been storing her earring collection inside it. “They’re organized by color!” she explained. We now check appliances for “surprise storage.”

2. The “How Did You Even…?” Moments

These require forensic-level cleaning—and usually a stiff drink afterward.

A. The Case of the Missing Socks

Found 43 single socks wedged behind a dryer. Not pairs—just lefties. Client’s theory? “The washer eats them and… regurgitates?” (We donated them to a puppet theater.)

B. The Shower Surprise

Deep-cleaning a “normal” bathroom when bam—a full set of dentures grinning up from the drain. Client (mid-30s, all teeth present): “Oh yeah, those are my grandma’s.” No further explanation.

Lesson learned the hard way: Always wear gloves. Always.

3. Valuable Stuff People Totally Missed

I honestly think most people overthink hiding spots. The best treasures are in plain sight:

  1. $2,300 in cash (taped behind a headboard)

  2. A diamond ring (stuck to a fridge magnet)

  3. A winning lottery ticket (used as a bookmark for 6 months)

True story: We once found a vintage Rolex in a cereal box. Client had “forgotten” it there during a party. (Note: This is why we have a [found items policy].)

The Big Picture

After thousands of cleans, here’s what I know:

  • Everyone has quirks (and that’s okay)

  • No amount of training prepares you for everything

  • If it exists, someone has probably stored it in a dishwasher

Anyway, you get the idea. Your secret’s safe with us—unless it’s a turtle. That’s group chat material.

P.S. If you’re hiding something weird in your home… we’ve seen worse. Probably.

Meta description: “Professional cleaners share the weirdest things found in homes—from shower turtles to cereal box Rolexes. No judgment!”

SEO notes:

  • Keyword: “weirdest things found in homes” (used naturally 7x)

  • Related phrases: “strange items in houses”, “cleaner confessions”, “odd household discoveries”

  • External link: Psychology Today on why we hoard odd items

  • Internal links: [found items policy], [deep cleaning service]

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